Vortex Related Destruction
by MegamiofMeiun
Summary: Opposites collide when Kairii and Jaden are thrown into a vortex ok so it’s Kai’s fault and into the Avatar world. Now Sokka has to avoid his rabid fangirl as Jade assembles Kataang. On hold, I think...
1. Ooh! Look! A Vortex!

A/N: Hey everyone

A/N: Hey everyone. This is MegamiofMeiun, better known as Kairii. Me and my good friend Jaden are going to write this fic together. YAY!! We will alternate every chapter and I'll be starting it off. YAY ME!! Um… we'll be switching P.O.V.s with our chapters. So, please forgive me for any loss of brain cells that may ensue from reading this crazy bit of…insanity. Without further ado, here is Vortex Related Havoc.

**Chapter 1: Ooh! Look! A Vortex!:**

It was a random sunny TueWedFriday (Heh heh…I made up a new day) when Jaden and I were walking down the anti-magical hallway of dream draining depression (Heh heh…now I made a new alliteration). (A/N: Jade just hit me!)

What is it about school that it can immediately drain all the TueWedFriday joy out of your life? Maybe it's the creepy VP that you're always afraid is watching -_**Kai stop talking nonsense and move on with the story! No one wants to know about our rapist vice principle!**_- Yes they do care. They care very much. It's part of narration and I can say what I want in my chapter! SO HA!

Smiles sweetly. So anyways, creepy VP just kills all the fun by stalking small squirrels –wait! No! I meant children! Sorry. I got distracted. Anywho…stuff…was…boring and…stuff…

ANYways, we were walking down the Hallway of Doom and Gloom when all the sudden:

"LOOK JADE!! IT'S A VORTEX!" I pointed and bounced up and down.

"Oh no! You remember what happened last time we took one of your vortexes?!"

"We…saw a kitty?"

"NO! WE DID NOT SEE A KITTY!!"

"Aww…but I like kitties…they're fluffy!"

"WE WERE 45 MINUTES LATE FOR CLASS AND WE GOT DETENTION AND-" Everything after that just sounded like "blah blah blah" to me. "BLAH BLAH BLAH!"

"So it's settled; we're going through the vortex!" And before she could blah anymore, I grabbed her wrist and pushed her through.

"BUT I DON'T WANNA GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!"

"Jade, did you bump your noggin?" I called into the vortex. There was no reply. Then I turned around and saw him. "AHHH!! IT'S MY PET GOLDFISH FROM THE THIRD GRADE!!" And thus, I dived into the vortex.

-- - -- - - - - - - --

I woke up, and couldn't help myself. "I remember there was mist.-" _**–You can't type! You keep screwing up!**_- "Swirling mist upon a vast glassy…vortex!! There were lockers all around and I saw my third grade goldfish. And my goldfish sure looked…ticked." (A/N: For those who didn't pick up the reference, this is a spoof off Phantom of the Opera.)

"Are you quite done?" I heard Jaden ask impatiently.

"No. Wait a sec." I told her. "BUM! BUMBUMBUMBUM BUUUUUM!! BUMBUMBUMBUM-!"

"SHUT! UP! YOU IS TRIPPIN YO!" Ok…so she didn't say the last part. But the squirrel I imagined sitting on her shoulder did.

"You're imagining a talking squirrel on my shoulder again, aren't you?" She asked with a sigh.

I looked sheepishly at the ground. "…Noo…" She cocked an eyebrow. "…Maybe kinda…" She tapped her foot. "…Yeah…" I sighed in defeat.

"How many times will I have to tell you not to imagine talking SQUIRRELS ON MY **SHOULDER**!?"

"Um…fifty bajillion zillion majillion totillion awalkalakkajokkaSOKKAillion?"

Jade fought a smile as she glared at me. "You do realize I hate you?"

"Sure do, best buddy!" I called, hugging her with glee.

-_**You did **__**no**__**t**_ _**just type glee!**_-

YOUR COAT GOES TO COLLEGE!!

Anyways, not to be confused with Amyways which is a woman…I think…maybe it a squioldfish from the thirdyfirst grade… … … …

Um…so…

"Sokka does not have big ears."

"Where did that come from?" Jade asked as we walked through No Where Land.

"I'm not sure. I felt some cosmic force was telling me to say it…"

"Mmhmm…Come're Kai." Jade took my arm and pointed to a spot on the ground. "SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!"

"Um…can I have a cream pie if I do?"

She looked at a loss for a moment before saying, "Yeeah…when you close your eyes…the magical cream pie fairy will come and leave a slice of pie in your mouth."

"YES MA'AM!!"

"Kairii…you're never having sugar again."

"Jade…if you turn to salt…can I eat you?"

"Just go to sleep." She growled.

-- -- -- -- --

A/N: Thus concludes my chapter. And now, Jaden's chapter. Man! It's gonna be all smart like!


	2. Finally We Know Where We ARE!

A/N: Hi this is Jaden's chapter (don't listen to Kai who calls me Jade

A/N: Hi this is Jaden's chapter (don't listen to Kai who calls me Jade. That isn't my name! She just shortens junk because she is frickin lazy.) Anyway… this chapter is not going to be as dumb as the last chapter, but I will try to make it funny. (Don't listen to Kai again when she said this was going to be smart. I'm not that smart… hmm.) –_**She is too smarticle! Whatever that means…**_- Okay before my "friend" confuses herself even further with her made up words, we will go to the story. Good day!

**Chapter 2: Finally We Know Where We ARE!**

After making Kairii go to sleep, I walked around looking for kindling and food. Leave it to Kairii to make me do all the hard work! Okay, so I made her fall asleep… but that was only to keep her out of the way and out of trouble.

"Yeah… we're all gonna get eaten by a spirit monster…" Kai mumbled in her sleep.

"STOP QUOTING SOKKA!"

Kai shot up, eyes wide open. "Sokka?! Where?!"

I slapped my forehead. I just had to wake her up. Kai touched her mouth. "Aw… there's no pie!"

I shook my head. "Uh… you ate… it…"

Her eyes teared up. "You mean I ate it in my sleep?"

"Uh… yeah, sure… what you said…"

"No! I HAVE TO TRY AGAIN!" Suddenly she flopped back and went back to sleep. I sighed in relief.

"Whew, that was close." I went back to picking up sticks and set them in a pile. Then it hit me. No lighter or matches. GREAT!

"Would you like some fairy magic to help you with that?" a sickeningly sweet voice cooed. "Normally I only summon pie… but you look like you could use some magical intervention."

A looked and saw a giant crème puff in a froo froo pink dress with a hot pink tiara on top.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

"Hey you, wake up!" a kid's voice yelled in my ear.

"No! MAKE THE PIE FAIRYGO AWAY! I DON'T BELIEVE IN FAIRIES, I DON'T!" I yelled.

"Wow, is she okay?" another voice said in the distance.

"I don't know? Let's find out! HEY SLEEPING PERSON! ARE YOU OKAY!?"

I jumped up, my eyes wide as saucers. –_**Saucers? Who says saucers? You say my words are weird.**_**-**

At least my words are real words! Okay where was I? Oh yeah, saucers. Kai! Not another word!

I looked around and then found Kai's spot empty. "Oh Lord! Where is she?" I asked to the unfamiliar people in front of me.

"Where's who?" one asked. He had a funny looking ponytail.

"Kairii, she was right her last night! Now… she's Gone!"

"I did see a girl in a tree when we found you," said the girl.

"A tree!?" I looked up and saw the sleeping form of Kairii flopped over on her belly, hangin from a tree limb. I sighed annoyed.

"Please don't tell me she climbed up the tree in her sleep."

"Why would she do that?" asked the younger kid.

"Probably trying to climb up a tree to get to a picnic with Sokka… or pie…"

"What!?" the ponytail guy asked.

"Uh… nothing. Hey that gives me an idea." I look up and grinned evilly. "SOKKA!!"

"What?" asked the ponytail guy. Kairii on the other hand had a different reaction.

"WHERE?!" She shot up, then fell out of the tree. She sat up on the ground and started crying, her hand flying to the back of her head. "Ow! I'm bleeding!"

She took her hand back and showed it to me. There was nothing. "You're not bleeding," I said placidly.

"It's invisible blood!" she yelled.

"THERE'S NO BLOOD!!"

"You lied about Sokka! You're probably lying about the blood too!" She looked over at the quartet of other people and she smiled madly. "Hi there handsome."

"Don't say that to random strangers!" I scolded her. She was such a five year old.

"He's not a stranger! He's Sokka!" I looked over and recognized them as Aang, Sokka, Katara, and Toph.

"Oh no! Oh no, no, no! Please tell me I'm dreaming again!" I moaned.

"Um… last time I checked, you were awake," said Toph.

I shot a glare at her but then returned my attention back Kairii. "KAIRII!" I snapped. "Back away slowly with your hands in the air!"

She threw her hands down on the ground. "My hands are on the floor!"

"Don't be defiant!"

"Wait is that where we throw a monkey at someone? MOMO!"

"NO! It Doesn't Deal With Monkeys! AND MOMO IS A LEMUR!"

"A very pretty lemur…"

"Shut up Kai!"

"Can we step in?" Katara asked.

"Oh, are we dancing? Can I hold you Sokka?"

"No Kai, we are not dancing! Please don't give her an excuse to confuse herself."

"I don't confuse myself. The squirrels confuse me."

"Shut up!"

"_Hello! Hello! I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello!_"

"What's she singing?" Toph asked.

"I know, but I really don't want to talk about it," I muttered.

"What? Should I sing something else? _She wore an itsy bitsy teeny weeny, yellow polka dot bikini…_"

"STOP!"

"Well, we should probably leave now…" mentioned Sokka.

"NO! SOKKA, Take ME WITH YOU!" Kairii shrieked.

"Kairii, stay!"

"Bu… b-b… but…"

"Stay…"

Kairii starts pouting. "Why does everyone run away from me?"

"Because you're insane!"

"I'm not insane, I'm just mentally creative…"

"More like mentally unstable."

"I like puppies!"

"No you don't…"

"I kick puppies!" she shouted happily.

"You What?!" cried Sokka.

"Um… nothing…"

"What's a puppy?" asked Toph.

"Oh yeah, Toph's blind," I commented.

"Sooooooo… she still knows what a puppy is," Kai said obnoxiously.

"Not really."

"Puppies are adorable versions of…"

"Sokka?"

"Are you saying that Sokka isn't adorable?" Kairii asked offended.

"Exactly!"

"Hey!" Sokka shouted.

"HEY! Don't dis my love!" Kairii yelled.

"What?!" Sokka said flabbergasted. –_**That's a cool word for a word I didn't make up.**_-

"Ssh, my love. Be still. I will defend you!"

"Who says I need defending?"

"Oh no, I know you're big and strong and don't need a simpleton like me to carry you." (Okay she didn't say simpleton. But she is, you have to admit that!)

"Huh?" Sokka asked about to break into tears.

"You're so amazing Sokka! Can I melt in your arms?"

"The problem is that if Sokka doesn't see through this, he is dumb," I muttered.

"Hey! I resent that!" Sokka shouted.

"Sokka is the most intellectual, whatever that is, man in the universe!"

"You are talking about my brother? But his voice still cracks!"

"Which is one of the reasons he is so adorable!" she squealed.

"Oh Kairii!"

"Oh Sokka!"

"Kairii! Are you in there?!"

I snapped my fingers in front of Kairii's zoned out face.

"W-what? Sokkalovesmewhat?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Doesn't Sokka love me?"

"Kairii were you off in one of your daydreams again?" I asked her.

"It was real! It must have been!"

"Not really."

"Stupid squirrels," she muttered before we started walking again.

"By the way you guys, where are we?" I asked the trio of benders and Sokka.

"We're in the Avatar world. You know: Fire Nation, Earth Kingdom, Water Tribe, and Air Temples."

"Okay, that's good enough for me!" I said happily.


	3. You're Stuck With Us Now

A/N: IT'S ME AGAIN!! And by me, I mean the cool one of us. – _**I take resentment to that.**_- I take resentment to your face. Well, here goes. Kairii out!

**Chapter 3: You're Stuck With Us Now**

You know what the great thing about being me is? I find it easy to cope with unnatural things. Jaden, however, does not.

"WE'RE WHERE!! I SERIOUSLY THOUGHT THIS WAS A DREAM THE WHOLE TIME!!" She cried.

"Blah blah blah…" I sighed. "That doesn't matter. The real question is, can we bend?" I asked.

"Well, I dunno." She paused. "How do you bend?"

"Um…Mr. Squirrel, how do you bend?" I asked a little squirrel on the ground.

"Kairii, how many times am I gonna have to tell you that squirrels don't talk?"

"Remember Prince Caspian? They do talk. Mr. Squirrel, how does bending work."

"Well, first off, my name is Rythen, not Mr. Squirrel."

"Forgive me, Rythen." I said apologetically.

"Forgiven. Now, to answer your question, only you can know how you bend." Rythen told me.

"Oh. I see."

"Please tell me that squirrel did not just talk!" Jade groaned.

"He did! Rythen, would you like to travel with Jaden, Aang, Toph, Katara, my lover, and I?"

"Why not."

"Nice to see you've invited yourself to join us." Toph muttered.

"Hey, Kairii can come with us if she wants!" Sokka defended me. Because he's so in love with me and all.

"Says who?" Toph demanded.

"Says me!" Sokka growled, getting all protective and sexy. I couldn't help but grin. He just couldn't help but fall madly in love with me. That was understandable. I am awesome.

"Hey! Stop fighting!" Aang yelled, standing between their glaring match. Katara did a dreamy sigh and I rolled my eyes. She was SO obvious. _–__**Oh, and you're not?**__- _You know what Jade; shut up!

"So...uh...now what?" Jade asked.

"We travel with them. Duh!"

"Kairii, I'm not going to allow you to stalk them mercilessly." She sighed.

"She's not stalking us! We want her here!" Sokka insisted. He's such a man. _–__**Eww...you're disgusting...**__- _

"See, Sokka says they want us here." I told her in a matter of fact mannerism.

"But shouldn't we-?" I cut Katara off.

"Nope. You're stuck with us now!" I grinned happily.

"Greeeeeeeat." Toph sighed.

-- -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- -- -- - - - - - - - - - -(That's mildly entertaining)-

"Where are we?" Jade complained as we continued to walk through the wood.

"Um...the middle of nowhere, duh!" I told her in a loud whisper. Rythen was sleeping on my shoulder, and I didn't want to wake him up. He might get cranky.

"No we know where we're going." Aang assured us.

I shrugged. "'kay, nya."

"Nya?" Toph asked in a critical voice.

I nodded. "I'm gonna say it at the end of all my sentences, nya."

"Why?" Jade demanded. She and Toph were both shaking with anger...or...something of the like.

"'Cuz I wanna, nya!" I smiled widely.

"Oh, she's just so cute and wonderful!" Ahh, it's so wonderful to finally be appreciated for what I am. I should have warped to meet Sokka much sooner.

_-__**Okay...y'know what; I can't take it anymore! No more! I'm cutting this chapter short!**__-_

JADE! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!

_-__**Can and am. I am so sick of listening to you be annoying! And no more listening to the Best of Both Worlds anymore either!**__-_

But, Jade!!

_-__**Nope. Sorry guys, but this chapter is done. Finito. Buh-bye!**__-_

YOU'RE SO MEAN!


End file.
